


Lover, where do you live?

by pastfics (starlighteyed)



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Fate & Destiny, M/M, Skam Season 4, Slow Build, Struggle, i'm not going to tag much bc i don't want to spoil it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 21:37:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11322228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starlighteyed/pseuds/pastfics
Summary: It was quiet. Henrik didn't say anything. He just inched closer to Tarjei.Both of them were looking up at the stars. A shooting star has crossed the dark blue sky. Both of the turned to each other in surprise."Wow did you-" they both tried to say but just stopped talking as they smiled at each other. "Make a wish." Henrik said. They were looking into each other's eyes so deeply.I wish to be with you.Or, a fic about the aftermath of SKAM in the means of Tarjei and Henrik's relationship.





	Lover, where do you live?

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER
> 
> this fic is just that: fiction. i do not mean to disrespect or hate on anyone in this one shot. i'm not trying to say in any means that Henrik and Tarjei are/were/will be in love. i don't mean to disrespect their sexuality, private life etc. i'm not trying to hate on Lea, or her and Henrik's relationship.
> 
> i'm just a Henjei shipper. that's all. don't hate on me. this is only fiction.
> 
>  
> 
> the title was taken from Highasakite's [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEC67UXr4Es) of the same name. i recommend listening to it while reading this bc i listened to it a lot while writing. 
> 
>  
> 
> anyway, see you at the end.

"Hey, could you pass me that green highlighter?" Henrik asked with curious blue eyes.

 

Tarjei gave him the green highlighter that was laying on the table, one that Henrik couldn't reach even if he tried with his long arms.

 

They were looking at the script of the last episode ever of SKAM. The thought made Tarjei's heart fill up with sadness. He wasn't ready to let go. He wasn't ready to let go of Henrik.

 

The thing is, he already had dozens of plans, one including being in the Grease musical with other insanely talented people, but Henrik wouldn't be there. If Tarjei was honest to himself, most things nowadays he did for Henrik, and Henrik only.  It was weird in a way, but he knew what the feeling was called, the feeling that he felt whenever he was around Henrik. It was always on the tip of his tongue and it always threatened to come out and expose his feelings to Henrik but it simply couldn't happen, for many reasons.

 

One of those reasons was Henrik's girlfriend. Lea was a gorgeous Norwegian upcoming model, who was a few months younger than Tarjei. He could never be anything like her. She seemed to be everything Henrik wanted. They seemed to be so happy and in love. Tarjei's heart was aching with pain, that it was not him who got to hold his hand with their fingers curled around each others', it was not him who got to surprise him with coffee in the morning just to make him happy when he was just getting out of bed, or that it was not him who got to kiss those beautiful plump lips and hear him whisper _I love you_ while looking so deeply into his eyes with so much love.

 

"Tajei... Are you okay?" Henrik asked with a worried facial expression and a soft tone. He must've been zoned out, looking completely out of it. Like was just there physically but not anyhow else.

 

"Yeah, I'm fine." Tarjei forced a smile and though he could act Isak's character out, or any other character, he couldn't fake that he was fine because he really wasn't.

 

"Are you sure? We can take a break if you want. We've been doing this for-" Henrik was cut off though.

 

"No, it's okay, trust me." Tarjei smiled again and looked back down on the script.

 

They were sitting in a conference room at the NRK headquarters. They didn't have as many lines as they used to in season 3, but they kept the tradition of them highlighting their lines. No one else did that from the cast, it was kind of a thing between Tarjei and Henrik. The rest of the cast members had gone home as they were done reading through the script but Henrik and Tarjei arrived late so that was their reason to stay for longer.

 

A plan started to form in Tarjei's head.

 

After the filming of the last scene was wrapped up and they didn't ever have to come back to film SKAM again, Tarjei was going to let Henrik know about his feelings, even if Henrik didn't feel that way and he had a girlfriend. He just deserved to know because Tarjei's been acting weird around Henrik for a couple of months now. Henrik must've been blaming it on being season 4 and it being the last one ever. But no. It was something else.

 

A few hours later, they packed up their things and as always, they walked to the tram stop together. They were making small talk, and Tarjei was trying not to be tense but he couldn't help it. Tomorrow was their last day.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

"We're done, guys!" Julie smiled and everyone else started 'wooing', jumping, clapping as the last episode was wrapped up. They were also trying to clean each other's tears up and try to make each other happy for the last time.

 

Tarjei was laughing at something with Lisa, Josefine and Iman when he saw something from the corner of his eye. It was Henrik, standing further away from the team, with a grumpy facial expression, staring down on his phone and  typing away. He didn't seem like he cared about the show wrapping up. That was so unlike him. He always talked about how much this show meant to him and how much he will miss it. And not just that but how happy and sad he was going to be on the last day. But he was nothing like that and Tarjei was worried.

 

So he walked up to him and smiled in a way that wasn't disrespectful to Henrik because he didn't seem the happiest.

 

"Hey." Tarjei said. He already felt sad because of the end of SKAM but Henrik not participating in the celebration of the wrap-up of SKAM hurt him even more.  
"Oh, hi..." Henrik looked up, surprised at first but then smiled weakly. He didn't seem like he was in the mood for celebration.

 

 

"Everything alright?" He asked and he was worried. By the look on Henrik's face just a minute ago, nothing was alright.  
"Yeah, I-uh... It's just- I can't- Seems like I can't talk today." He looked down, laughing at his own self, then looked back into Tarjei's eyes. They were so goddamn beautiful. "Well, I have some problems with... personal stuff, so..." He nodded, awkwardly pressing his lips into a line.

 

"Don't let that ruin this. You're never going to have a chance to celebrate this moment ever again so please, just join us. Let us make you forget about it for a while." Tarjei said, offering a smile.

  

"Okay." Henrik laughed and Tarjei melted inside. They joined the rest of the crew and enjoying the last few moments of the whole cast being together.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

Two days after the party on June 23rd 2017 was over, they all went to Ett Bord for a nice dinner and for that, they rented out the whole restaurant for a private event earlier on in the month, or at least Julie and Mari did, to celebrate the end of SKAM.

 

Tarjei decided to sit next to Henrik to comfort him in case he felt down again. After all, what else could this  _natural connection_ be used for?

 

They were laughing and having fun, Henrik seemingly easing up and joining the celebration, clearly in a better mood. Tarjei and Henrik glanced at each other from time to time and smiled to let each other know both of them were happy.

 

But then Henrik got a phone call that seemed to destroy his happy bubble. He ran off to the bathroom to talk to whoever was calling him. Tarjei went after him.

 

"We're not! I already told you this..." Henrik seemed frustrated. He was walking up and down and putting his hands through his hair. He was frowning. "Okay, yeah, both of us signed the contracts there but that doesn't mean anything. Oslo is where I belong." Henrik sighed. He looked up and saw Tarjei come through the bathroom door. He bit his lip. "Anyway, I don't have time for this right now, I'm meant to be having a nice time. I'll talk to you later." He said and without waiting for an answer, he ended the phone call. Tarjei had no idea who he was talking to but he was clearly annoyed with them. "Don't even worry about... This." Henrik said, looking at his phone, but he was talking about the phone call he just had.

  

"It's fine, I won't ask about it. I just want you to have fun." Tarjei let himself smile a little which made Henrik smile. Tarjei walked up closer to him, there wasn't much space between them. He stood there for a minute, while they were both staring at each other's eyes and even though they might've glanced down at each other's lips briefly, the main focus of this whole thing was Henrik. Tarjei hugged him and Henrik was surprised, only hugging back after a few seconds. He sighed. Tarjei knew that meant he felt a bit better.

 

After they separated, Tarjei thought they were going to kiss. They were so close and so immersed in each other's existence. But someone opened the door and the magic was gone. It fell on the floor and shattered right in front of them.

 

"Are you guys okay?" Marlon asked, smiling but his eyes were shining with worry.

 

"Yeah." Tarjei nodded and they all agreed to go back outside to the tables and enjoy the rest of the dinner.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

After the dinner, everyone was heading home. Tarjei and Henrik walked to the tram stop together as always, but this was for the last time. Not unless Julie decided to do another season but that was highly unlikely at this point. She always said it was a 24/7 job and it tired her out a lot.

 

Even though they always went to the same tram stop, they took completely different trams. They didn't live too far away from each other but they weren't exactly close. That was okay. Perhaps Tarjei really needed to keep his distance with Henrik because he had a girlfriend and he didn't know if he could control himself around Henrik anymore.

 

He was nervous to ask this question from Henrik, but his curiosity got the best of him.

 

"So how's Lea, and your um... Relationship?" Tarjei asked. He really only cared about how Henrik was doing. Was he happy in this relationship?

 

"Well... It's kind of a long story." Henrik said, hesitating.

 

"I wanna know if you two are doing okay though." Tarjei said and he felt a bit dizzy after saying _you two_.

 

"Well, okay. I'm only telling you this because we're close friends. We're not doing so great. She wants to move away to Copenhagen because a modeling agency has got her as a client. She signed the contract a few weeks ago. I signed a contract there too with a Danish agency before her. But I'm not really keen on going. I don't think she's happy to hear that I'm not the most enthusiastic person about it." Henrik laughed humourlessly.

 

"Just do what your heart tells you to do. I know it sounds like some cliché bullshit and if you listen to your heart you might get it broken... But your heart knows what would make you the happiest." Tarjei nodded, looking into those baby blue eyes. He wanted to kiss him.

 

Henrik just smiled a tiny bit and fell weirdly quiet. It was so unlike him. Maybe he was considering something.

 

"You're right." He nodded, looked down and sighed. "You're so good to me."

 

Tarjei's heart was about to stop. What did he mean by that?

 

And the tram Tarjei always took was there and it was time to say a final goodbye. They hugged each other hurriedly and smiled and wished each other the best, promising to text and call every once in a while. When Tarjei got on the tram, he waved to Henrik one last time and Henrik had one of those smiles om his face that reminded Tarjei of sunshine. The tram was now nowhere near Henrik now. It left the tram stop and Tarjei felt like he left a piece of him in Henrik's arms.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

The time passed a little bit slow after SKAM ended for a few months but Tarjei started to get his his life together after he let it fall apart for a little while. There wasn't a week when he didn't get drunk out of his mind but he stopped after these few months of having an existential crisis. He went to the rehearsals of Grease, obviously, because he couldn't get himself fired and because it was going to be a big musical.

 

In February 2018, the premiere of the musical was done and everything was going great. He got many audition invitations because directors wanted him, mostly in films and series. He went to audition for some of them. He liked to keep busy, but not too busy.

 

Tarjei hasn't heard of Henrik in a while. That didn't mean he wasn't thinking about him every day. He felt pathetic but he couldn't help it. He found himself up at 2 am, thinking about him, typing in a few sentences to send Henrik as a text, asking him how he was and whether he decided to move to Copenhagen with Lea but he never had the courage to send it. He felt weak whenever he thought of what Henrik's response could've been.  
So he never messaged him. He tried to move on, but the only way to forget about Henrik was hooking up with girls and girls only because boys would've reminded him too much of the blue eyed, blond haired prince who was someone else's and always would be someone else's, no matter what.  
He thought about whether Henrik hated him or not. There were many awkward encounters between them. Like the scene where Isak and Even have sex in the hotel. That was the most awkward thing to happen to Tarjei and perhaps Henrik too. Tarjei still remembered it as clear as day.

* * *

 

> Henrik and Tarjei were in nothing but their boxers because they were filming the hotel scene. Tarjei didn't know how he could control himself while Henrik, or rather Even who has the same looks as Henrik, was kissing him uncontrollably and his thighs were between Henrik's thighs and their clothed cocks were touching and it was just all too much. Tarjei, who was (supposed to be) Isak at that moment, was sweating nervously, he was so turned on by this boy touching him all over, leaving wet kisses on his upper body, going down until he reached his belly button, and looking up at him while doing so.
> 
> Tarjei, or Isak, could barely breathe. It wasn't hard to act like Isak right then. It never was. Acting like he was in love with Henrik's character was never hard. If anything, it was the easiest thing to do. It felt so right, but so wrong at the same time.
> 
> The cameras were rolling and Tarjei completely forgot about them. They were half-covered in the covers of the bed while Henrik (Even) pretended to fuck him and he pretended to be enjoying it. Well, there was no pretending in that, only in the fucking bit. They both had their boxers on.
> 
> "Cut!" Julie shouted. The scene was done in terms of filming. Henrik smiled at Tarjei, still hovering above him and quickly got off of him. He stood up and immediately went into the bathroom of the hotel suite to put his clothes on that he wore for Even's role, or at least that's what Tarjei imagined him to be doing. Or maybe he just wanted to be away from Tarjei because... Well, there could have been a lot of reasons such as Henrik liking Tarjei but not wanting to admit it (Tarjei knew he was reaching when he thought of this) or Henrik secretly hating Tarjei.
> 
> He wished so bad he could go put Isak's clothes on too. He was frozen on the spot for a while, but he somehow got up and ran to the bathroom. It was not easy but somehow he managed to.
> 
> Henrik was putting on the jean jacket that he wore when he was Even and Tarjei admitted to himself that he looked extremely good and that he should have worn in himself as well, not just when he was Even.
> 
> He looked up at him after having been focusing on putting on the jacket. He just smiled at Tarjei but as soon as he looked down to below his bellybutton, his eyes dilated. He seemed extremely... Confused. Tarjei looked down and holy fuck.
> 
> He had a boner. The outline of his cock was visible through the white boxers and it was awkward as hell.
> 
> "Well, fuck, this is awkward." Tarjei spoke up.
> 
> Henrik just laughed.
> 
> "Don't worry, I had one too."
> 
> Tarjei wished Henrik didn't have a girlfriend at that moment. He wished he could have kissed him, even if he might have misread Henrik's behaviour towards him.

 

* * *

 

It hurt to remember every one of their kisses as Isak and Even. Hell, there was no such thing as Isak and Even, there was only Tarjei and Even. His feelings were real, he didn't have to act as if he was in love with the person who played Even. It was all natural.

 

Tarjei made himself busy with lots of roles in the next few years to come, making sure he didn't have time to be worried about his dry love life. If his love life was a place, it'd be a dark alleyway with an unrealistic addition: a tumbleweed rolling through it. But if his sex life was a place... Well, that would be the polar opposite. He never told Henrik about his feelings and maybe that's what caused all of this. Maybe he should've confessed so he wouldn't go to sleep every night with a heavy heart, thinking of could-have-beens, should-have-beens and would-have-beens.

 

After about 3 years, Tarjei had matured and thought of sex as meaningless and unnecessary if it wasn't with someone he loved and had an emotional bond with. So instead of trying to get laid every weekend, he tried to find someone he could settle down with. After all, he was now 21 and even if it wasn't time for him to get married and have kids yet, in his opinion, he still wanted someone to hold him and love him. He felt pressure being built up on him by his parents and perhaps by society too.

 

After 4 years, he started hanging out with Marlon again and after a while, David and Sacha joined them too. It all felt so nostalgic. They all felt like they were those 17 year olds, well, except Sacha who was 20 at the time. They felt like young teenagers again. It was refreshing but even if the boys didn't show it, Tarjei could see that they all thought of those nice times with pain drenched nostalgia because they missed it. They had so much fun during the SKAM-era in their lives.

 

Though being friends with them again was like healing the scars Tarjei didn't know he had after SKAM, it was also not the best idea. It reminded him of Henrik, and their could-have-beens.

  

After 8 years, everything was very different. Tarjei settled down. It was time. But something very life changing happened in the 8th year of SKAM being over. For Tarjei, it felt like it's only been a year but time has gone by quickly, maybe quicker than anyone would've liked it. But that's just life.

 

Tarjei was on a winter holiday in Switzerland with some of his friends and the girl he was oh-so in love with and when it all happened.

 

"So I was like to the guy:  _do you know where I can find the toiletries?_ and then he said that they don't have a toilet in the store. I was so confused, I could barely make him understand that I wasn't looking for the toilet." Tarjei explained his encounter in a store at the ski holiday resort they were staying in.

 

Eli and him were both laughing while they were having a hot chocolate, dressed in warms clothes. Tarjei had a maroon scarf wrapped around his neck, covering his chin, with gloves on his hands, holding onto the warm drink. They were in a cafe not too far from the cabin they were staying in.

 

Eli's hot chocolate was on the table and it was soon knocked down and spilled by someone wearing lots of layers and holding a ski board in his hands.

 

"What the fuck, dude?" Tarjei spoke in English. He was angry. His sudden mood change surprised his own self too.

 

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to, it's just that there's barely any space in here. Yeah, I know, I should've left it outside. Please, let me buy you another one." The man apologised to the both of them sitting at the table and pulled up his ski mask. Tarjei suddenly lost the ability to breathe.

 

It was Henrik.

 

"Henrik?" Tarjei asked, confused, suddenly going from angry to surprised.

 

"How do you know my name, dude?" He asked, looking at the both of them weirdly, trying to understand the situation. But the thing is, Eli was looking at Tarjei weirdly too. "Oh, wait, fuck, you're Tarjei!" He spoke in Norwegian now. The realisation hit him quickly.

 

"Shit, man, it's been so long! How are you? Please, sit down." Tarjei said in Norwegian now too, standing up and going to sit next to Eli. "Oh, I'm such an idiot. Henrik, this is Eli, my fiancée. And Eli, this is Henrik. He played Even in SKAM." Tarjei introduced them to each other.

 

"Oh my gosh, it's so nice to meet you, Tarjei told me a lot about you, and I'm a big fan of your SKAM performance." Eli said with so much enthusiasm. Tarjei's heart was soaring with love as he looked at her. Though it was weird to sit at one table with the previous love of his life.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

Henrik and Tarjei met up a lot after that. Henrik was there for two weeks with his family and Tarjei was there for a few days longer with Eli amd friends. They talked about what happened in the past 8 years.

 

Henrik moved to Copenhagen a few months after SKAM ended. He had said that Oslo reminded him so much of SKAM and it was painful because he was bitter about it ending. But about 5 months later, he moved to Bergen because Lea had cheated on him. He was pretty broken up.

 

He had told Tarjei that he tried to get another partner after that but it was hard. He also talked about how the guy he was with just a few weeks ago had broken up with him because he didn't feel like he could love Henrik. That's why his family decided to go on a holiday in a ski resort: because they wanted him to be away from Norway for a bit and to help him calm down after another heavy heartbreak. Tarjei thought he deserved to be in love with a person who didn't hurt him and break his heart.

 

Henrik told him all of this because they felt like they were still close friends. The _natural connection_ was still there. Perhaps it'll always be. It seemed ineradicable, permanent.

 

Tarjei listened to all of it patiently. He wanted to know what has happened to him. But he also told him about himself and what has happened in these 8 years. Henrik listened too. It was good to catch up. Tarjei missed him, and from the looks of it, Henrik missed Tarjei too. Of course they missed each other. They never lost that  _natural connection_ and Tarjei was glad to find out about it.

 

However, them meeting wasn't only a good thing. It had its downside too.  
Tarjei was falling back to his old ways. He felt something for Henrik again. It was undeniable, but Tarjei wished he hadn't felt it. He was supposed to be marrying Eli in a couple of months. He couldn't have been doubting the life he's been living for 3 years now.

 

The worst thing caused by them meeting again happened on a Friday night.

 

Tarjei couldn't sleep. He was kept awake by so many thoughts. He was questioning everything. Was it fate that brought them back together? Was it just a cruel joke? Or was it just a coincidence? Why was he feeling this way? Why couldn't he stop his thoughts from racing 200 kilometres per hour?  
As an attempt to clear his head, he decided at 2 am, after lying awake in bed for an hour, that he was going to the roof of the house they were staying in. He put a few layers on himself and grabbed a blanket he brought with himself to Switzerland, then headed up to the roof.

 

As he stepped onto the roof, he noticed a dark figure standing on the same exact roof, leaning against the railing with the side of their body, looking up at the starry winter sky.

 

As soon as he took steps forward, he saw it was Henrik. Coincidence or fate?  
"Hey." said Tarjei softly, trying not to scare Henrik.

 

"Oh hi." Henrik smiled. His face was slightly illuminated by the small lights of the roof. It was still dark though.

 

"Can't sleep?" Tarjei asked and took a seat next to him.

 

"Nah." Henrik said, shaking his head, looking back up at the stars. They stayed quiet for a few seconds.

 

"Are you cold at all? I have a blanket." Tarjei said, holding the mentioned item up in an offering way. "We can share." He knew he might have been crossing a line.

 

"I'd like that." Henrik looked at him again, nodding. He looked happy, but sad at the same time.

 

Tarjei stood closer to Henrik and put the blanket over both of their shoulders. Quiet filled the air.

 

"Have you ever been in love?" Tarjei asked, looking at Henrik.

 

"Maybe once. It was about 9 years ago now though." Henrik said and bit his lip, looking down on the floor. He was talking about Lea, probably. "And yourself?" He looked up again, his eyes shimmering with interest.

 

"Same, if I'm honest." It was Tarjei's turn to look down on the floor.

 

"What about you and your fiancée?" Henrik asked, sounding confused. His lips were parted. Tarjei felt like his 18 year old self again.

 

"I'm not sure anymore." Tarjei didn't look up. "I'm not sure if I'm happy with her anymore. I mean, she's amazing, but I feel like we weren't made for each other."

 

He felt Henrik step closer to him. Whether it was because of trying to get more wrapped up in the blanket or something else, Tarjei didn't know. He didn't dare to look up.

 

It was quiet. Henrik didn't say anything. He just inched closer to Tarjei.

 

Both of them were looking up at the stars. A shooting star has crossed the dark blue sky. Both of the turned to each other in surprise.

 

"Wow did you-" they both tried to say but just stopped talking as they smiled at each other. "Make a wish." Henrik said. They were looking into each other's eyes so deeply.

 

_I wish to be with you._

 

Henrik must have been wishing something similar because of the next thing that happened.

 

The gap between them started to become smaller and smaller even though Tarjei wasn't moving.

 

And the next thing he knew was that his lips were on Henrik's. At first, Tarjei was shy and barely kissed back, but after he realised who was kissing him, instead of tearing himself away from Henrik, he kissed him deeper. His eyebrows were closely knit together, pointing upwards, which was a sign of him enjoying the kiss. He knew so well that he shouldn't have been doing it but it felt so right.

 

He never fell out of love of Henrik. It was always him.

 

Even with Eli. Tarjei was always looking for Henrik in everyone. She had the same shade of blue eyes as Henrik, and the same shade of hair, which obviously reminded him of Henrik.

 

The kiss was cut short by Henrik. Tarjei didn't notice, only until their lips were apart, that Henrik's hands were on his face.

 

"We can't be doing this." He said with the most heartbroken eyes. Tarjei was dizzy. Dizzy with Henrik's name repeating in all over his brain. His brain was clouded with Henrik. There was no escaping.

 

"Just kiss me once more, let me pretend just for one more minute." Tarjei whispered while was looking at Henrik with that _drunk in love_ face.

 

So Henrik leaned in and kissed him one last time.

 

And before Tarjei could get out of the kiss-trance, Henrik was gone. His tears started rolling down his face not too long after. His lips were parted. He was trying to breathe but he barely managed to.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

Tarjei hasn't seen Henrik in a while after that, and it was the day he was going back to Norway. He barely spoke to Eli who he had told that he wasn't feeling too well and that she should go and hang out with the friends they came with rather than sit inside with him and get bored.

 

Tarjei was telling the truth though. His whole body was aching. He needed to tell Eli that the wedding was off because he had kissed someone else. But that had to happen after they flew back to Oslo because it would've been unfair to ruin her holiday.

 

Tarjei was laying in bed, scrolling through his Facebook feed, a thing he hasn't done in a few years. He wasn't very active on Facebook.

 

He heard a knock on the door. Who could have been it? Eli had keys to the room so it couldn't have been them.

 

He got up from the bed and after walking up to the door, he opened it but found no one there. He looked around but the only thing he could see was an envelope on the floor with Tarjei's name on it. He picked it up, closed the door, sat back on the bed and tore it open.

* * *

 

_Dear Tarjei,_

_  
_

_I think you know who I am. But why am I writing you this letter? You are probably asking yourself this. Don't worry, I have all the answers._

_That kiss we had, up on the roof, brought back so many memories to me. It has been so long since I last kissed you like that and I'm happy it happened. Sorry if it fucks up anything between you and Eli. I wasn't thinking clearly when I kissed you. Tell her I'm very sorry and that it was all my fault, not yours._

_I hope she can forgive you. I hope you guys can fix it between you two. I don't want her to lose you because you're just so good and sweet. So sweet. I don't want her to let go of you. I made that mistake and it hurts like hell, every single minute that I live._

_I wish I could give my new phone number. But I want you to forget me. Forget how our lips touched and how we looked at each other because I will never be the one who can love you right, kiss you right, treat you right. I'm sorry if this hurts you but I have to tell this._

_I'll never forgive myself for letting go of you after SKAM ended. I have been a real coward. I just couldn't escape my feelings and I could barely keep myself under control whenever I was around you. I always had to tell myself that you're not mine and will never be. You're just too good for me._

_I'm going to disappear forever from your life now and maybe that's for the best but I'll never forget you. How could anyone forget you? You gave me so many memories and I'm so thankful. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had the chance to be part of SKAM. So thank you. By the time you read this letter, I will be in a taxi, going to the airport._

_I love you, Tarjei. I always have and I always will. From the moment we met, I knew that you were something so special, so out of this world. I love you with all of me. I fell in love with you the moment I looked at you. I never regretted it._

_I hope people will treat you right. Life will have its ups and downs but you will be fine because you're you. So positive and lovely._

_I wish you the best and the best only. We shall meet in another life where we can be together for eternity._ __  
  
_I love you. You will always have a special place in my heart. Hell, you took my heart, of course you'll have a special place. Remember that there will always be someone who loves you and that person will be me._

_\- H.H._

* * *

Tarjei broke down crying. Everything was too much for him that moment. The thing is, Henrik didn't know shit about what Tarjei wanted. Tarjei wanted to be with him. Why was he pushing him away?

 

 

 

 

 **~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**  
_  
_

 

 

 

 

On the 10th anniversary of SKAM ending, life was so different for Tarjei. He was 28.

 

He was single, still living in Oslo, but in his own flat. However, he was in America for a few months because he landed the main role in a major Hollywood film coming out next year. He needed to be there for filming. He perfected his American accent beforehand.

 

It was the first filming day and Tarjei was excited to meet the cast. Some cast members he had already met and became friends with after they hung out to get closer to each other a bit but he hasn't met everyone yet. He was a bit nervous, but confident in himself. He has rehearsed and knew his lines so he didn't have to worry about that too much.

 

The film was about two boys, Blaize Hunter and Kaden Bech, or rather men, both in their mid-20s. They have been friends since their childhood. They have always supported each other. One of them, Blaize, is a successful footballer while his friend, Kaden has always been by his side, he’s been there for him on his journey to the top of his career, being one of the best footballers in the world. There has always been some kind of romantic tension between them and one day, after Blaize has shot a goal in the last minute of the game which meant victory, he runs up to the stands where Kaden is sitting and doesn't think, he just kisses him. From then on, the media starts to talk about them and they struggle with the relationship they have but live happily after.

 

Funnily enough, Tarjei still hasn't met the actor who would be playing Blaize, which was kind of weird. But he didn't try to question it and bring it up to anyone. He knew he was going to get along with them, whoever it was.

 

Tarjei walked inside the studio where they were filming some scenes. He noticed some cast member who he already knew and just waved at them. The director immediately went up to him.

 

"Ah, Tarjei, I'm glad you're here! You better be." She laughed and Tarjei laughed with her. "I need to introduce you to our Blaize. The fact that you two haven't met yet is my fault, but you already know each other from SKAM, so you guys will be fine. Just follow me, he's in the dressing room." Anna beamed and led Tarjei to the said place. She knocked on the door and after a  _yes_ to the question  _can we come in?,_ she opened the door and stepped in. The guy was facing away from the door so Tarjei couldn't actually see his face. But he could have recognised that tall figure and hair anywhere.

 

 _Fuck. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuckfuck._ was all Tarjei could think about.

 

He turned around and his face reflected exactly how surprised he was.

 

"I'll leave you guys to it." Anna said, leaving the room and closing the door.

 

"Well, hi. Haven't seen you in a while." Tarjei said to Henrik.

 

"Yeah." Henrik said, looking down, avoiding Tarjei's gaze. He seemed full of regret.

 

"How are you?" Tarjei asked quietly. His heart was cracking again after two years of healing. Maybe it wasn't enough. He had never expected to see Henrik again and he wasn't strong enough to face him.

 

"I'm good. And you?" Henrik looked up, but he seemed like all of his emotions have been taken out of him. Was he going to pretend like nothing has ever happened between them?

 

"I'm good. Excited mostly. About this movie." Tarjei responded awkwardly.

 

"Same. Do you want to change? Your costume is... Right here." Henrik said and walked up to the hanger stand where all the clothes were hung up neatly. He pulled out on the hangers with clothes on it and showed it to Tarjei.

 

"Are you wearing yours?" Tarjei asked. He got an  _mhm_ as an answer. Why was Henrik acting so cold towards him? He was the one who wrote that letter.

 

Maybe it was because he was ashamed. Maybe he regretted writing it. Maybe he found it awkward to talk about. Maybe he had someone.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

A few weeks later, the tension was still there between them. Tarjei didn't understand. He felt like it was affecting their performance in front of the cameras so he thought it was time he confronted Henrik about him being cold.

 

He went to the dressing room first thing when he arrived at the studio for another scene they were filming that day. They had filmed on different locations in the past weeks but now they were back at the studio again. He found Henrik there.

 

"Hi." Henrik said, not even smiling or looking at Tarjei. He made himself look busy.

 

"Hi." Tarjei said and put his bag down on the sofa that was in the dressing room. "Okay, do you hate me or something?" He asked, frowning, expecting an answer from Henrik.

 

"Why would I hate you? We have history, so I have no reason to." Henrik looked taken aback by the question. He finally looked at Tarjei. This emotionless mask he was putting on was annoying to Tarjei, quite frankly.

 

"Why do you act like it then? Why are you acting like we haven't kissed, like you haven't written me that letter, like you haven't broken me? Like we weren't that epic couple in a Norwegian TV show that became internationally known? Like we weren't madly in love with each other and we secretly knew but never wanted to believe it?" Tarjei was getting angry. He couldn't believe he was treated so coldly by someone he had so much history with. It hurt him. It angered him.

 

"What?" Henrik seemed to be confused. " _We_ were madly in love?"

 

"Fuck off, don't pretend you didn't know I loved you back. Or were you that oblivious? Haven't you seen the way I looked at you?" Tarjei's voice was filled with disbelief. How could Henrik not realise?

 

Henrik didn't say anything, only after a few minutes.

 

"I'm sorry I'm like this to you. When we're done here, would you want to like... hang out?"  _Go on a date_ is what Henrik meant.

 

The answer was yes.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

They decided to go to the hotel they were staying for as long as the filming of the movie was going on (as it turned out, they were staying in the same hotel. Again: coincidence or fate?). Henrik was staying in a suite 3 floors above Tarjei. The view from his balcony was clearly better.

 

It was late, about 1 am. They were sitting on Henrik's balcony quietly, previously catching up on each others' lives. Nothing much has changed for the both of them. Apart from Tarjei being single and Henrik not being heartbroken. He still lived in Bergen, and Tarjei still lived in Oslo, well at least when they weren't filming in America.

 

"Do you remember the scene where Isak and Even kissed for the first time? When they were in the pool?" Henrik asked, lifting the mug he had his tea in to his lips and drinking some while looking up at the starry sky. It was a hot summer night.

 

"Yeah. What about it?" Tarjei asked suspiciously, but still with a smile on his face.

 

"When I opened my mouth to kiss you, I swallowed so much water... It was hard not to burst into a coughing fit. It was such a hard scene to film." He giggled. Tarjei thought he was going to fall off the chair he was sitting on. He sounded like an angel. His laugh was Tarjei's favourite song.

 

"Oh my god, why the fuck did you do it then? Julie never told you to do that, did she?." Tarjei shook his head, laughing.  _Play it cool_ , he said to himself.  _Don't let your inner feelings seep through the surface. He might think you're weird._

 

"Because I'm extra like that." Henrik smiled softly at Tarjei. He stood up and stood against the railing. "I can't believe it's been 10 years already. I can't believe I'm 32. God, I feel so pressured. I have absolutely no one but I think my whole family is expecting me to have children soon.  _Fuck me._ " Henrik shook his head. His voice had a hint of humour in it.

 

Tarjei stood next to Henrik.

 

"What an awfully familiar situation this is." He said quietly, with a shy smile sitting on his face. Henrik looked at him and reciprocated the expression.

 

"Except everything is different." He nodded.

 

They fell quiet. Both were busy looking up at the sky, but not for long. A shooting star has crossed the sky.

 

They both looked at each other with twinkling eyes.

 

_I wish to be with you._

 

Out of the blue, Tarjei put his hands on Henrik's waist and embraced him in his arms. He still smelled amazing, and the same as all those years ago. This smell brought back memories and feelings once again. Tarjei was not going to let go this time. He was stupid to do so in the past. He knew this had to be fate.

 

He looked into Henrik's eyes and put his hands on his face. He leaned in and connected their lips. Henrik immediately kissed back and put one of his hands through Tarjei's hair. It was the best feeling in the world. They didn't have to be afraid. They had nothing to worry about but the two of them. Tongue against tongue, skin on skin, fingers running through hair, hands unbuttoning jeans, back against the wall, clumsy steps towards the bed, falling into the white bedding, undressing. Two names being repeated through moans, two bodies colliding. That's all that mattered. The world stopped around them.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

The morning was different. When Tarjei woke up, reality hit him in the head like dozens of rocks. What if... Henrik was just high and didn't mean anything he said. But he didn't smoke, or did he? So many questions formed in his head.

 

They were in Henrik's bed, both of them wearing boxers and t-shirts. The t-shirt Tarjei was wearing wasn't his so it wasn't a surprise that it was a tiny bit big on him. But it smelled like Henrik so it was okay. Everything on the bed smelled like him. He dug his nose into the pillow that he was holding onto and closed his eyes as he inhaled the intoxicating scent.

 

Henrik was peacefully sleeping. He looked so beautiful and so peaceful. Tarjei leaned forward and carefully kissed Henrik's lips which broke into the prettiest smile. He opened those beautiful azure blue eyes and looked into the olive green ones.

 

Tarjei put his right hand on Henrik's face and caressed his cheeks, and played with small locks of his hair near his forehead. They were in their own bubble and even if the world was falling apart, they wouldn't have noticed. They were too concentrated on each other. They have been waiting for so long.

 

"What happens now?" Tarjei asked.

 

"What happens now... Is that I kiss you." Henrik said and leaned in, his eyes fluttering close while their lips touched. They laid there for a few minutes, looking at each other like they hung the moon. Everything was quiet. The only that could be heard was their breathing. It was almost synchronised.

 

"I'm serious, Henrik." Tarjei said worriedly. He wanted to be with him but he wasn't sure whether Henrik wanted it too, as much as he did.

 

"What happens now is up to you." Henrik said quietly.

 

"I just... I just want to be with you." Tarjei sighed and looked down, avoiding Henrik's gaze. He was afraid of his reaction, which was kind of stupid because they had sex the previous night, they had both confessed their love to each other, so he was probably over-thinking everything again.

 

Henrik caressed Tarjei's soft cheeks.

 

"Me too." Henrik said and there was pain in his eyes. He might wanted to hide it with the smile on his face, but Tarjei saw right through him. Why the hell was Henrik hurting?

 

"Tell me the truth. Is that what you want? I'll know if you lie, Henrik, so don't even try. Just tell me the truth, whether you want to be with me or not." Tarjei asked angrily, making Henrik take his hands off of him.

 

"I do. But I'm scared I'll fuck up. I don't think I can be with you." Henrik was tearing up. The thing is, he just said  _what happens now is up to you._ But he just contradicted himself with this. It wasn't up to Tarjei. He didn't want to be with him. 

 

Tarjei tried to hold it together. He stood up with the best emotionless face he could pull and put his clothes on. Henrik tried to apologise, beg him to stay, but he didn't want to stay. Inside, his heart was breaking. He gave all to this man laying among those white hotel covers and pillows, but all he got back was heartbreaks. He didn't want this anymore. He might have loved Henrik with all of his being and he could barely live without him, but he was going to try and move on. After what he just said, Tarjei felt like he's been wasting his time. He wasted so many years of his life waiting for Henrik, but he couldn't take it anymore. He was either going to be with him or he was never going to see him again. Yes, he would see him until the filming finished, but apart from when they have to film, he didn't want to see Henrik. He had to act out scenes with him, but he didn't have to do anything else with him, and he didn't even want to. Sometimes Tarjei wished he never met Henrik and this was one of those times.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

After a long year of disconnecting himself from everyone and trying to stay that way, apart from his close family, it was hard for Tarjei to face the media again. It was the premiere of the film and he was quite anxious about it. He made himself busy with other projects during the time when the filming was finished and when it actually came out. He had strict rules for himself and for his family, no one was allowed to talk about this film, or any of the cast members, or anything the media said. It was weird, but after a while, he became used to it. He enjoyed life more.

 

Tarjei flew to Canada for the premiere, as the film was going to be released at the Toronto Film Festival. He had a few days to stay in Canada after the premiere and he was going to enjoy those days, just travel for a bit.

 

Except that wasn't going to work out.

 

As soon as Tarjei stepped on the red carpet, he saw Henrik standing there, posing for the cameras. Every memory of them came back into his head and flashed before his eyes in a minute.

 

* * *

 

> _July 27th 2016. Audition day._
> 
> It was the day of the auditions for Even's role. Tarjei was invited in by Mari and Julie to help them choose who was the most suited Even to his Isak.
> 
> At least 200 people turned up. Whoever Tarjei felt some kind of connection with, they acted out a scene together. Tarjei was doing most of the work, the thinking and choosing. He was the one who had to kiss the person playing Even several times after all.
> 
> Erik was one of the last ones to come in, but he was the best Tarjei has seen at that point. They had one person after him though.
> 
> Tarjei decided he wanted to do a scene with him, he felt a spark ignite in his chest when he looked at him and the way he spoke.
> 
> After they've done it, he wasn't feeling too enthusiastic but he was the best he has seen all day. He was going to give this last person a try.
> 
> "Hi. I'm Henrik Holm, I'm 20, soon turning 21 and I would love to play Even." He said as soon as the three sitting at the table said hello.
> 
> There was something about him that felt right to Tarjei. He looked insanely good and his charisma was unbelievable.
> 
> Tarjei immediately wanted to read the script with him. So they did.
> 
> _"Hi." said Isak who just stepped into the changing room._
> 
> _"Hey."_ _Even said._ Tarjei walked closer to Henrik slowly.
> 
> _"Where have you been?"_ _Isak asked._ Henrik looked at him anxiously, but he was supposed to look that way.
> 
> _"I... Have told Sonja about you." Even answered, looking down, then looking back up into Isak's eyes. "And we've decided to take a break." He exhaled anxiously._
> 
> Tarjei kept staring into Henrik's eyes, waiting for him to deliver his lines. He was unbelievably beautiful.
> 
> _"What do you think about that?" Even asked, wanting to know what Isak thought._
> 
> _"Awesome."_ Tarjei acted like he was trying to hide a smile. To be fair, he was. He was happy because he felt like he found his Even. Finally.
> 
> _"Yeah?"_ Henrik asked as Even, raising his eyebrows.
> 
> _"Well, if it makes you sad then... I hope it's not my fault." Isak shook his head. Even was breaking into a smile._
> 
> _"I'm not sad!?" He raised his eyebrows again._ Henrik's smile was like the sunshine on a rainy day.
> 
> _"No?" Isak asked, smiling._
> 
> That's when Henrik had to walk up to him and kiss him shyly. Henrik seemed so confident, as if it was nothing to kiss another guy. But he did it so effortlessly.
> 
> _"What... Do you think your parents would say if you started dating me?" Even asked nervously._
> 
> _"I think that would be okay." Isak answered after a few seconds of thinking and hesitating._
> 
> _"Yeah?" Even asked back._ Henrik looked down on the script again quickly.
> 
> _"Or my dad probably wouldn't mind."_
> 
> _"But your mum would?"_ Henrik was so close to him. Tarjei almost forgot his lines. He smelled so good.
> 
> _"My mum's insane." Isak said._ Henrik had a confused facial expression on. It was all part of the role though. It's just that he was the best at acting, out of the people who Tarjei saw today.
> 
> _"In what way?" Even asked._
> 
> They kept going with the script, and the end of the scene was scarier than Tarjei thought.
> 
> _"What do you think your parents would say about... me?" Isak looked down then looked back up._ Tarjei acted as if he was nervous. Or maybe he wasn't acting.
> 
> _"I think they'd love you." Even said with a smile on his face._ Henrik put one of his hands on the side of Tarjei's face and stared at his eyes and lips for a little bit longer until he leaned in a kissed Tarjei. He felt like his blood pressure was above the roof. His heart was beating so fast.
> 
> After Henrik left the room, Tarjei sat down, still in shock from what just happened and the only thing he said was  _He's the Even to my Isak_ and the two women in the room knew.
> 
> Julie called Henrik back just two hours later.

 

* * *

 

> _May 12th 2017. Gullruten._
> 
> They were having the best night of their lives. Henrik and Tarjei were sitting next to each other, accompanied by Marlon, Sacha and David. They all looked so happy and smart in their suits. Nothing could make them anything less than happy.
> 
> The kiss cam landed on them.
> 
> Tarjei and Henrik looked at each other smugly, because they were confident and they didn't care if they had to kiss in front of hundreds of people. Their kisses were always just an act, at least that's what Tarjei liked to think. He liked to think that he wasn't in love with Henrik the way Isak was in love with Even. But denying things didn't help.
> 
> They both nodded at each other and went in for a kiss. They used their tongues just to top the excitement in the stadium.
> 
> Tarjei tried to play it cool, as if it was nothing. But in fact, it was everything. Though he couldn't forget: Henrik had Lea. Meaning they were never going to be together. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, and it was louder than the cheers around them and the hosts speaking.
> 
> When they were back at the hotel where they watched the recorded version of the Gullrutens, Tarjei was so drunk. He was uncontrollably flirty and just drunk.
> 
> When the boys were gone, Henrik took care of him. He caressed him to sleep after helping him undress and put his pyjamas on. He always cared.
> 
> The next morning, he was still there. At first, Tarjei didn't know. He thought he was gone but a few minutes later of him opening his eyes, he brought them food from a restaurant near the hotel. He was all warm smiles and lovely vibes until he got a phone call later that day and had to leave immediately.

 

* * *

 

> _June 23rd 2017. SKAM-fest._
> 
> When everyone was done being interviewed on the yellow carpet of the SKAM party looked at the bloopers of SKAM, they sung and danced along to songs, they drunk and had fun. Tarjei tried to stay private and not be on as many Instagram and Snapchat stories as possible. He didn't want to be involved. And he tried to stay away from Henrik too. Lea was there, and he knew what kind of person she was, so he rather stayed away from the couple. It all hurt but he couldn't do much apart from accepting the fact that Henrik would be never be his.
> 
> He was fine with the  _let's forget about Henrik_ thing until it was the end of the party and most people have gone. Even Henrik seemed to have gone home. Tarjei was looking for his blue shirt he was wearing on top of his striped t-shirt at the start of the night, but he couldn't find it anywhere.
> 
> Henrik suddenly stepped back into the room where all the dancing happened. Tarjei wasn't expecting him to come back from wherever he was, especially not while he was alone.
> 
> "Hey, why are you still here?" Henrik asked, his face dimly lit.
> 
> "I'm just looking for my shirt that I was wearing at the beginning of the night. Have you seen it?" Tarjei was frowning at him in frustration. He's been looking for it for about 30 minutes now.
> 
> "Shit, I forgot to tell you before I dropped my mum and Lea home but I have it. It's in my car, I could drop you home as well, if you would like?" He asked and he didn't seem too drunk. Come to think of it, Tarjei hasn't seen him drink that much throughout the night.
> 
> "Yeah, that'd be nice. I mean, it's like 3 am." Tarjei smiled, still obviously drunk.
> 
> "Okay." Henrik said.
> 
> The drive home was quiet. Tarjei tried to avoid Henrik's gaze and he was quite successful. His anxiety sobered him a bit. Though he could see when Henrik wasn't looking at him and that's when he really took him in. He looked good driving the car, with his long fingers on the steering wheel, with the moon shining on his wristwatch, making him look so confident and in control. That was definitely a turn on.
> 
> "We're here." Henrik spoke up after the car came to a stop. He sucked his bottom lip in.
> 
> "Thank you so much. I'll see you tomorrow." Tarjei said, grabbing his shirt from the back seats.
> 
> "Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow." Henrik smiled and Tarjei could barely see it, but it was there.
> 
> Were they supposed to hug? Were they supposed to just do something bro-y?
> 
> Henrik leaned in and kissed the corner of Tarjei's mouth. It seemed like he wanted to kiss him on the cheek but he couldn't resist kissing him closer to his lips.
> 
> Tarjei kissed back in a similar way and he quickly distanced himself from Henrik, awkwardly looking into his eyes. They both smiled and Tarjei got out of the car.
> 
> That night, he could barely calm his heart down, which almost jumped out of his chest. He fell asleep with a smile on his face.

 

* * *

 

Henrik looked so good. As soon as he turned his head a saw Tarjei heading his way, a big smile broke out on his face. He looked even more gorgeous. Tarjei's stomach was shaking with anxiety.

 

They said hello to each other, posed for more photos and they went on to do interviews after the screening of the film. It turned out to be pretty decent, and during the interviews, many people told them how good the film was. Tarjei could tell critics were going to love it. Or at least he hoped they would.

 

The after party lasted about 10 hours, and it probably continued after Tarjei and Henrik left. Henrik asked him if he wanted a lift to the hotel. It was fate or coincidences again, but Henrik was staying at the same hotel as he was. This situation felt all too familiar.

 

"Hey, listen, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry for what I said. I didn't mean it." Henrik said in the elevator which was on its way to the floor Henrik was on. He invited Tarjei in to talk. "I... I care about you, okay? I do. I want to be with you." He looked deeply into his eyes and took Tarjei's hands into his own soft ones. Those pale blue eyes looked so beautiful.

 

He was hesitating. He knew he should kiss Henrik because that's what felt right. But his heart had caused him so much pain he didn't want to listen to his heart anymore.

 

 

"I'm not afraid to love you anymore." Henrik said and slowly leaned in, waiting for Tarjei to lean in too or do something that tells him what Tarjei wants.

 

Tarjei hesitated, but in the end he had this thought about only living once which he would've said is a cliché but in that moment, it felt just right. Their lips met.  _I'm not afraid to love you anymore_ kept repeating in his head. His heart was soaring. He loved him and he would always do just that. He can't do anything to change it, so what's the point of trying to stay away from Henrik?

 

The elevator came to a stop and they broke their kiss. Their fingers were intertwined as they walked into Henrik's suite.

 

A little girl came running up to Henrik. Tarjei was confused. Who was she? What was she doing up this late? Why was she in Henrik's room?

 

"Daddy, you're finally back!" She squealed.

 

"Hello beautiful. Why are you up this late?" Henrik picked her up and kissed her forehead.

 

"Well, grandma put me to bed and I fell asleep but I woke up not too long ago and she was asleep by then, so I thought I'd wait for you." She giggled and Henrik smiled at her with one of those beautiful open mouthed smiles. 

 

Tarjei felt like he was in cardiac arrest and all he could hear was the blood flowing through his ears. She called him daddy... So this could only mean one thing... Henrik was married, but he was kissing Tarjei, so- "Tarjei, this is Lisbeth, my daughter. Lis, this is Tarjei." His thoughts were interrupted by Henrik.

 

"Hi, Lisbeth. It's nice to meet you." Tarjei smiled and shook her tiny hand.

 

"Hi Tarjei. It's nice to meet you too." She smiled. She had beautiful green eyes and ash blonde hair. She was such a beautiful little girl, anyone could see it. It warmed his heart that Henrik had such an adorable daughter. Tarjei never actually been around kids that much, but seeing Lis made him want to have kids. But with who? "You know, daddy told me a lot about you. I think he has a tiny crush on you." She whispered, trying to shield her mouth as if Henrik wouldn't understand a word if she did that.

 

"Hey, why can't you ever keep secrets?" Henrik joked. "Come on, little monkey, let's get you back to bed." He said and disappeared in another room of the suite. Tarjei just sat down next to a dining table.

 

After Henrik came back, he told Tarjei everything.

 

He adopted Lisbeth as a single parent because he really wanted a kid but he still couldn't find anyone to have them with. Lisbeth was adopted by him last year while him and Tarjei didn't see each other and he had said that it was the best decision of his life. His family was happy with his choice too. Tarjei learned that she was turning 5 in 2 days. Henrik wasn't married, nor in a relationship with anyone.

 

Then the conversation started heading another way and suddenly Tarjei felt his body weigh more than it usually did. They were sitting down on the chairs of the suite's balcony. 

 

"I'm sorry for what I said." Henrik stated. Tarjei was confused. 

 

"What do you mean?" He didn't know what Henrik meant exactly. 

 

"I'm sorry for telling you that I didn't want to be with you. I wanted us to be a thing so bad, but I just... I wasn't sure of myself. I didn't trust myself. In this one year, I think I've changed enough to be brave enough to give us a try. I can't live like this for the rest of my life. I want someone to be happy with, and... I've been searching for this someone." Henrik paused and sighed. He looked down. He looked ashamed. Tarjei didn't want him to feel this way. He wanted to take all that away. Hearing Henrik's point of view of things really helped him understand why he was like that. "But wherever I go, no matter who I try this whole... _Love_ thing with, it doesn't work." He looked up, back into Tarjei's eyes. He was so beautiful, so so beautiful and breathtaking with his kissable lips and messy hair and his shirt that had a few buttons undone. He looked tired yet gorgeous. And what he said made Tarjei tear up. Maybe it was the alcohol he consumed, or he doesn't even know. "The only time I felt it work, somehow, was when I was with you. You were just... I could really be myself with you. I just hope you still want to be with me too." He said and intertwined his fingers with Tarjei's ones. He held Tarjei's hand carefully and softly, but he was visibly anxious. He kept staring down on their hands. "Though I don't know if you want to be with someone who has a child and-"

 

"Henrik." Tarjei said quietly, making Henrik look up into his eyes. "Calm down. I do want to be with you." Henrik visibly became even more anxious. "And Lis? She seems like a lovely girl, I bet I could get used to her quickly, and I would probably love her as if she was my own." Tarjei smiled. "I'm way past trying to hate you and dwelling on the past. That isn't me." 

 

Henrik just smiled with a teary face. He was crying but only with tears.

 

Tarjei let go of his hand and opened his arms for him, taking him into a hug. Henrik hugged him back tightly and Tarjei didn't know when was the last time they had hugged. But it felt so intimate, so refreshing. 

 

When they tried to distance from each other, they stopped halfway, when they were still close to each other, their noses almost touching, looking at each other's lips. 

 

"Kiss me already." That was all it took for Henrik to close the gap between the two of them. 

 

The kiss was their reunion after so many years spent struggling with life and love. This was their moment of accepting the fact that no one will ever be as good for them as each other. 

 

No words could describe the feeling they both felt.

 

 

 

 

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

 

 

 

 

Tarjei was waiting for Henrik and Lis to go to a restaurant and tell Lis the big news. He was sitting on a bench at the beach, with the sun setting and painting the sky orange, purple and blue. A breeze moved through his hair and he inhaled the scent of the sea. He smiled because he was excited for tonight. Hopefully, Lis would take it well.

 

"Tarjei!" He heard Lis shout his name and he looked in the direction of the sound. Lis was running up to him with the biggest smile on her face.

 

"Lis, hi." He answered and stood up, picking her up and hugging her. "How are you?" 

 

"I'm great. And you?" Lisbeth asks, her blue eyes glowing with excitement.

 

"I'm good too. I'm glad you're great." Tarjei said with a smile on his face that he knew made his dimples come out on the side of his lips. Soon Henrik has arrived next to him and there was someone else next to him. Someone Tarjei hasn't seen in a while. 

 

"Well, hello, I haven't seen you in so long!" She said and smiled. Tarjei knew where Henrik got his smile from. 

 

"Siv, gosh, it's been so long. It's great to see you again." Tarjei said and gave her a hug. 

 

"How are you, sweetie?" Siv asked. Tarjei loved Siv. She always cared about him so much, maybe more than she ever cared about anyone else Henrik had. Maybe she knew how much they liked each other and wasn't blind to the fact that they would've been a nice pair. 

 

"Good, how are you?" Tarjei asked back politely.

 

"Fantastic. I'm very happy to see you." She answered.

 

They soon made their way to the restaurant nearby and the atmosphere was calm. Tarjei could have been a tourist in Canada, but he was happy he chose to spend time with Henrik and Lis. It was worth it. He could always come back later on in his life. After all, he was only approaching 30. 

 

"So, me and Tarjei would like to make an announcement to the both of you." Henrik said with a huge grin on his face, one of the ones that made Tarjei look at him like he hung the moon. All of them just finished eating and he was still wiping his mouth with the napkin in case he's got any sauce left on him from eating. Tarjei's hands were on the table, waiting for Henrik to continue talking. Henrik put his hand on his and looked at him with so much love in his eyes, excited to announce what they wanted to. "Mum, Lis. Me and Tarjei... We're in a relationship." Henrik said with such confidence and he looked at the two females sitting opposite the two of them, Tarjei following his actions.

 

"And the sky is blue, the grass is green..." Siv said a bit seriously but a smile was still faintly on her face.

  

"Um, what?" Henrik asked, seeming a bit taken aback.

  

"I thought we were just stating facts." Siv said and started laughing. Henrik and Tarjei followed and Lis just smiled at them with one of those  _oh, adults_ smiles. "No but seriously... Finally you two! I thought you guys were never going to realise how crazy you were for each other!" She exclaimed, grinning. Henrik just rolled his eyes while Tarjei laughed.

 

"Wait, so does that mean... That he's going to be my dad?" Lisbeth asked, looking at all three of them.

 

"Yes. I'll try my best to be a good one." Tarjei said, looking at her with the corner of his lips curving upwards. 

 

Lisbeth jumped up from her seat and ran up to Tarjei's side and jumped at him, trying to take him in her arms. She was squealing, holding onto Tarjei like her life depended on it.

 

"Aw you three... Can I take a photo?" Siv asked with tears in her eyes, trying to wipe them away while looking for her phone in her bag. Tarjei just nodded while Henrik looked at him, expecting to answer.

 

The photo was taken with Lisbeth in the middle, Henrik and Tarjei both kissing each side of her face. They all  _aaawww_ ed when they looked at the photo. Tarjei felt the happiest that night.

 

Later on, when they got back to the hotel and both Siv and Lisbeth went to Henrik's suite to sleep, he joined Tarjei because there wasn't enough space for the two of them to sleep in Henrik's suite. Tarjei had one king size bed in his suite, while Henrik had three single ones. 

 

They were laying down in the king size bed, darkness filling the whole room, only the faint light of the moon shining through the windows, illuminating both of their faces a little bit. They were facing each other, admiring the other's face. Henrik had one of his hands on the side of Tarjei's face that wasn't on the pillow and caressed his skin. He touched his hair too, and it all made Tarjei very sleepy. It was 2 am, so it was no surprise.

 

They have been laying in the bed awake for more than 2 hours now, talking about everything and anything. It was relaxing and both of them felt like they belonged now. They didn't have to worry about not seeing each other again for a long time until fate, again, decided to try and shove them back together to try and make them realise that they were supposed to be together. Because only they knew how the make each other happy. Only they were suited to be each other's.

**Author's Note:**

> well, i hope y'all enjoyed! i have been working on this fic for like 3 weeks now. i'm so bad at writing fics bc i procrastinate a lot. and i've been sad about skam ending so there's that. but at least this is here, right? :)
> 
> leave me comments, i'd appreciate those the most, tell me what you thought. but if you leave kudos, that'd be great as well. <3 ily all.
> 
> also another thing!! the idea of that film Henrik and Tarjei starred in was not mine, it was a hc from someone's curioscat account, idk who it was but credits to the person who wrote that hc!! i couldn't find it, so i can't link it, sadly. but i loved the idea so i just included it briefly in this. once again, i don't own that idea. let me know if it was you, i'll credit you somehow 
> 
> my tumblr is [bluewednesdays](http://bluewednesdays.tumblr.com) if you wanna contact me.


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